Walking over a grave
Walking over a grave was unlucky in old English belief, and in parts of England and New England even a hidden grave was blamed for a rash or a cramp. The uneasy jolt of finding out where you stood is the heart of it.
What it may mean
Most people who walk over a grave do it without knowing. You stop to read a weathered name, step back for a better look, and only then notice that the low mound or the flat marker was right under your feet. The jolt that follows is out of proportion to any harm done, and that is what makes it interesting. Old beliefs in England and New England focused on exactly this case, the hidden grave, as if the fault lay in not knowing. People react the same way when they learn they have stepped on something tender in a person: a joke that touched an old grief, a question that reopened a loss. The kindest response in both places is the simplest one. Step aside, show a little care, and walk more slowly from then on.
Depending on how you saw it
Realizing you stood on one while reading a headstone
In most cemeteries the grave lies in front of the inscribed face of the headstone, so visitors who step back to read often stand right on it. Walking along the row behind the stones avoids it. When have you only noticed where you were standing after you had already stepped back?
A flat marker hidden in the grass
Many newer cemeteries use flat markers set level with the lawn, so graves are easy to cross without seeing them. Grass grows over the edges in summer. What in your daily surroundings is easy to walk over because it lies so low?
Taking a shortcut past the headstones
Coleridge wrote that he held it no good mark to see a man tread over graves, wicked in the sun and moon and bad luck in the dark. A shortcut among the graves still makes most visitors walk differently. Where do you naturally slow down without anyone asking you to?
Children running between the stones
Children at a family burial or a visit often run between headstones, and adults hurry to call them back. The lesson lands better with an explanation than a scolding. How do you pass on respect for something to someone too young to feel it yet?
Why it happens in nature
In older churchyards burials were packed close, markers sank or were moved, and many graves lost their stones, so it is often impossible to know exactly where people lie. In most modern cemeteries the body lies in front of the inscribed side of the headstone, which is why visitors are asked to walk behind the stones or along the paths.
What folk beliefs say
England (Coleridge)
Coleridge, in his Sibylline Leaves, quoted in a 1903 collection, describes the popular belief that ill fortune would follow anyone who trod upon a grave: "To see a man tread over graves I hold it no good mark."
Source: Cora Linn Daniels; C. M. Stevans (eds.), Encyclopaedia of Superstitions, Folklore, and the Occult Sciences of the World, vol. 1 (1903), vol. 1, p. 176. View the page
England and New England
Passing over a hidden grave was thought in some parts of England to produce a rash, and in New England to cause cramps in the foot.
Source: Cora Linn Daniels; C. M. Stevans (eds.), Encyclopaedia of Superstitions, Folklore, and the Occult Sciences of the World, vol. 1 (1903), vol. 1, p. 177. View the page
Madagascar
The traditional people of Madagascar, the same collection says, thought lying and cheating very light offenses compared to stepping on a grave, which they would not do for any money.
Source: Cora Linn Daniels; C. M. Stevans (eds.), Encyclopaedia of Superstitions, Folklore, and the Occult Sciences of the World, vol. 3 (1903), vol. 3, p. 1344. View the page
To reflect on
When you learn you have stepped on something tender in someone without knowing, how do you respond?