Holding your breath past a cemetery
Holding your breath past a cemetery is a back-seat custom a lot of people learned as children: some do it so no spirit can slip in, others out of respect for those who can no longer breathe.
What it may mean
The same small act can carry opposite reasons. A woman in San Jose explained to a folklore student that everyone in her parents' car held their breath past a cemetery because her father said it was rude to breathe in front of people who no longer could. A teenager in Charleston learned it from his older sister as a way to avoid offending the spirits, and once feared he might breathe them in. From outside the two look identical: puffed cheeks, a car gone silent, a gasp at the far gate. Two people can share a habit for years without learning that each keeps it for a different reason. If you still catch yourself doing it, notice which reason you were handed: respect, fear or simply a game.
Depending on how you saw it
Racing siblings to the far gate
The Charleston student remembered the breath-holding as a contest between brothers and sisters over who could last longest past a big cemetery, more game than fear. Which childhood rule of yours survives mainly because it was fun?
Whistling instead
A Methodist minister who preached across the Carolinas told his children to whistle whenever they passed a churchyard, to keep the devil away, and had heard of the breath-holding version too. What do you do to steady yourself when you pass a place that unsettles you?
Walking past on foot
The custom suits a car, where the stones slide by in seconds. On foot, a large cemetery can take minutes to pass, and most people simply give up and breathe. Which habit of yours only works at a certain speed of life?
Why it happens in nature
The custom fits the car: at driving speed a cemetery slides by in a few seconds, about as long as a child can comfortably hold a breath, and the student who collected it pointed out that doing the same on foot is hardly realistic. Holding the breath also makes a whole car fall silent, which turns a passing glance into a shared moment.
What folk beliefs say
South Carolina (United States)
A 17-year-old in Charleston, South Carolina, of Ashkenazi Jewish and Russian descent, said he held his breath past cemeteries so as not to disrespect the spirits, who can no longer breathe; as a child he feared he might breathe them into his lungs. He learned it from his older sister.
Source: Bailey Abedon (collector), Holding Your Breath As You Pass A Cemetery (USC Digital Folklore Archive) (2020), folklore.usc.edu. View the page
California (United States)
A woman from San Jose, California, said everyone in her family's car held their breath when driving past a cemetery, because her father had told her it was disrespectful to breathe in front of people who could not breathe anymore.
Source: Tamsen Cronin (collector), Hold your breath out of respect — Cemetery (USC Digital Folklore Archive) (2019), folklore.usc.edu. View the page
North and South Carolina (United States)
A Methodist minister who preached at churches across North and South Carolina told his children to whistle every time they passed a cemetery, saying it kept the devil away and stopped him from stealing their souls.
Source: William Hiller (collector), Whistle When Passing a Cemetery (USC Digital Folklore Archive) (2012), folklore.usc.edu. View the page
To reflect on
Which habit do you share with someone who keeps it for a different reason than yours?