Passing the salt
Passing the salt was once loaded with caution: old English lore called it unlucky to help another person to salt. Behind the rule sits a simple idea, that people season their own plates, and it applies far beyond the table.
What it may mean
Francis Grose, the eighteenth-century English antiquary, called it unlucky to help another person to salt, and admitted nobody was sure who would suffer for it. A London etiquette book of 1695 grumbled that some people thought it rude to serve salt to a neighbor at all, and advised setting the cellar where others could take their own. In both accounts, the custom is less about salt than about hands: each person seasons their own plate. That habit works away from the table too. People like to adjust their lives to their own taste, and well-meant extra pinches from others (advice, plans, corrections) can spoil the dish. Next time someone asks you to pass the salt, you might notice the difference between handing it over and pouring it out for them.
Depending on how you saw it
Refusing to pass it at all
The poet Lord Byron, says a 1903 collection, would neither help anyone to salt nor let anyone help him. A small refusal like that can outlive the reason for it by generations. Which little rule at your table is really a habit you inherited?
Borrowing a cup of salt from a neighbor
Salt is the classic thing to borrow next door, and old sayings fretted over whether it should ever be paid back. Plenty of neighbors simply never count. Which favors between you and the people nearby work best when nobody keeps score?
Passing the salt with a smile
A Russian rule, recorded in 1903, warned against passing the salt at table without a smile. It turns a reflex into a small, warm exchange. What tiny daily handover in your home would change if you did it with a smile?
Why it happens in nature
Salt was expensive for centuries, and at the table it sat in open cellars that people reached into with a knife tip or a tiny spoon, so serving it to someone else meant handling their seasoning. Pouring shakers became common only after salt was treated to stop clumping in the early 1900s.
What folk beliefs say
England
Grose, quoted by Brand, wrote that it was unlucky to help another person to salt, adding that nobody seemed sure to whom the bad fortune would happen.
Source: John Brand; Henry Ellis (ed.), Observations on the Popular Antiquities of Great Britain, vol. 3 (1849), vol. 3, p. 162. View the page
England
A London book of manners from 1695, translated from French and quoted by Brand, noted that some people thought it uncivil to help a neighbor to salt; the author called this a ridiculous scruple and advised laying the salt on the plate or passing the cellar so others could serve themselves.
Source: John Brand; Henry Ellis (ed.), Observations on the Popular Antiquities of Great Britain, vol. 3 (1849), vol. 3, p. 163. View the page
Russia
In Russia, according to a 1903 collection, you should never pass the salt at table without smiling.
Source: Cora Linn Daniels; C. M. Stevans (eds.), Encyclopaedia of Superstitions, Folklore, and the Occult Sciences of the World, vol. 1 (1903), vol. 1, p. 488. View the page
England (Lord Byron)
Lord Byron, the same collection says, would not help anyone to salt at table, nor allow himself to be helped.
Source: Cora Linn Daniels; C. M. Stevans (eds.), Encyclopaedia of Superstitions, Folklore, and the Occult Sciences of the World, vol. 1 (1903), vol. 1, p. 489. View the page
To reflect on
Where do you season things for other people when they would rather choose for themselves?